IS YOUR FEAR OF FIRE DRAWING THE FLAMES TO YOU?
When Johnny Lawson was 12 years old, he saw an event which changed his life forever. While walking home after school, he noticed something attracting a large crowd just a few blocks ahead of him. As he approached the scene, he was amazed to see that there was a very large fire in progress. The old Madison family bakery was engulfed in flames, and thick black smoke was pouring out of the aging three story brick structure.
The fire department was on the scene, but the water just seem to evaporate as it impacted on flames which grew higher with every passing second. Little Johnny was excited by what he saw, but he was also trembling in fear. He could not help but imagine how terrible it would be to become trapped in such a blazing inferno. With all of the noise, he doubted if even a loud scream would be heard from anyone inside the inferno.
Deep down inside, little Johnny was glad that he could not hear any cry's for help. He did not know if he could endure hearing someone cry out, knowing it would be very unlikely for anyone to be able escape this burning building. Already, most of the upper floors had crashed down into the first floor level, and the flames still seemed to be growing higher and higher. The last thing Johnny wanted to hear was someone screaming out, as they burned alive.
As afraid as he was, Johnny could not take his eyes off of the terrible fire. By now the outer brick walls were tumbling toward the ground, and the impact was strong enough to actually shake the ground for blocks around. It took all of the courage that he could muster, for Johnny to walk closer toward the fire scene. He felt very relieved, when he overheard some of the fireman telling others how lucky everyone was to have gotten out of the inferno without being killed or injured. As soon as Johnny heard this news, he quickly turned and walked away toward his house.
As he walked home, he could still see the old bakery burning in his mind. It had become like a photograph recorded in his memory, and he was now sorry that he had seen the fire. The smell of smoke was still in the air, but Johnny could not make himself look back to see if the fire was closer to being extinguished. He was really relieved, when he entered his home and closed the door behind him. The cool air inside of his house felt great, and the air conditioning helped keep the smell of smoke out of his home.
Johnny's mama saw he was upset, so she asked him what had happened. Johnny told her about the fire, as she turned the TV on to see if the fire had made the news. Sure enough, there were pictures of the Madison bakery fire on all of the local channels. Johnny had heard right, there had been no serious injuries or loss of life. Even with this good news, Johnny was clearly upset by the pictures on his TV. His mama caught on, and cut the set off. She tried to calm his fears, but she realized that the fire had made a very bad impression on him. In time, she was sure he would forget the matter.
Johnny had problems going to sleep, but finally he drifted off. After a short time in slumber, Johnny began to dream about his new nightmare called fire. He knew that he was dreaming, but he was still scared beyond belief. He could see himself in an older part of town with many old buildings and houses, and he was standing in the middle of the street. Out of a corner of his eye, he saw an old store ignite. It seemed to ignite like the burner on a gas stove, and almost immediately the store was engulfed in flames.
After a few seconds, other buildings began to burst into flames. There were no people around, and there was no sign of a fire engine, or other emergency response. It was a night sky, but there was a terrible orange glow everywhere. With a little "poof" sound, another building or home would ignite. This was a scary nightmare, and Johnny just wanted to wake up and end it. As hard as he tried, he could not escape the nightmare. His eyes seemed glued together, and he could not exit his dream state. The terror increased, as he realized that he was becoming surrounded by burning houses and buildings. He could actually feel himself getting warmer, as the circle of flames grew closer. Johnny wondered if a person could die such a horrible death, while dreaming?
As his clothing ignited, little Johnny screamed out in terror. His heart leaped inside of his chest, as he felt doomed and helpless in this terrible dream state. To his amazement, he woke up just as the fire began to engulf him. He was very glad that his nightmare was over, but he was still trembling in fear from the things he had experienced in his dream. The dream seem so real, was it a warning of some kind? Johnny decided that it was most likely caused by the fire he had witnessed earlier in the day, and would be something that he would just have to put behind him. It took courage, but Johnny finally went back to sleep. The next thing he knew, the alarm clock was waking him up in the morning.
He remembered the dream as he awoke, but he also remembered that he had gone back to sleep without any more bad dreams. He resolved to not get carried away with this fire business, and he took a different route to school that morning. He also decided to take the same route back home, as it by-passed the old Madison bakery location. It was time for Johnny to forget the fire, and get on with his life again.
The English class was always boring, but Johnny knew that he had to pass the course to graduate into the next grade level. He was surprised when the teacher told the class that they would be reading from a portion of the scriptures today. He was sure that it was against the law to read from the bible in class, especially in a public school. The teacher, Mrs. Gordon, told the class that they would be reading from the book of Job. She also made clear the fact that they would be reading the verses in an historical context, and not for religious considerations.
Mrs. Gordon handed out some selections from the book
of Job,
which were printed on computer paper. The class
members took
turns reading various verses, pretty much at random.
When
little Johnny's turn came, he was instructed to read
verse
25, of Job chapter 3 aloud:
Was it possible that his dread of fire would actually draw it to him? He felt very uneasy, and he was beginning to become more afraid as these thoughts sunk in. He was sure that something supernatural was going on, as he had never feared anything so much before. He had always known what fires could do, but he had not worried about fire up until yesterday. Now, the subject was beginning to affect him in very negative ways. What, if anything, could he do to reverse this process?
Johnny began to feel unsafe, no matter where he was. He now was very cautious about the places he entered, and he always made a mental note of the nearest exits. In the back of his mind, Johnny knew that he had an appointment to keep. If only he had never seen the bakery burn, as he was sure that it was the event that had triggered his problems. People did not know what wrong, but everyone who knew Johnny became aware that he was a changed person. The once happy- go-lucky kid, had become a nervous wreck.
By the time Johnny reached the age of 18, he had adjusted somewhat to his situation. He still felt he would end up being burned in a fire, but he also realized he had to minimize his fear and make the best of a bad situation. The dreams still occurred, but they were less frequent than they used to be. Johnny had learned that if he did not over react to catching on fire in a dream, the pain was not very intense and he would wake up before it got too bad. His fear was no longer concerning his dreams, it was the thought of the real thing happening. He knew that if he was trapped in a real fire, there would be pain he could not possibly endure, and he would not be able to wake up and escape the agony of the flames. The verse in Job was sealed in his mind, along with his fear of fire. What a combination, Johnny was truly a tormented soul.
Even though Johnny had learned to cope with his dreams, he still could not deal with the feeling that he was living on borrowed time. If he awoke from his sleep at night, he would look around the room to see if there was any hints of smoke or a glow from flames. Every one in a while he would hear something stirring in the attic, and his mind would picture a rat gnawing into the electric wires. If the rat only knew how dangerous it was! The rat could be electrocuted, and the house could be set afire from the short caused by the bare wires touching together after the insulation was gnawed off. Johnny knew that he could not change the habits of the rodent, he would just have to hope that the worst did not happen in his attic.
One night he awoke from a nightmare, to the loud beep of the fire alarm. He jumped out of bed, as the thought flashed through his mind that his terror had finally come upon him. When he got downstairs, Johnny saw smoke coming out of the kitchen. He found that someone had left the coffee pot on, and that it had overheated enough for the fire detector to be activated. Johnny's parents told him to go back to bed, and that everything was under control. He tried to get more sleep, but he could not help but think about when his real date with the flames would occur.
Johnny was now 25 years old, and he had spent the last 4 years in an institution. The council, and the medication helped, but he knew that a demon was alive and well inside of his mind. A couple of years ago, the institution actually caught fire while Johnny was locked in his quarters. He just knew that his number had finally been called, and he suffered intense agony waiting for the flames to claim him. After the fire was put out, Johnny wondered if it would have been better for him to have died in the fire. It would have been a very painful death, but at least the daily torment would have ended. At times, Johnny had considered dowsing himself with gas, and setting himself on fire.
The medication helped to ease the intensity of his fear, but it also turned him into a different person. No one would hire him, and women would always run the other way as he approached. He had tried turning to the church for help, but it seemed like every sermon contained remarks about fire & brimstone. If there was anything that could be worse than being burned alive, it was the thought of burning for eternity. Johnny was a very unhappy man, and there seemed no way out for him.
One day, something deep inside told him to read more from the book of Job. All Johnny could remember about Job was the verse about fear drawing bad things to you. This was not what he wanted to hear, as he had lived in fear for over 13 years now. Still, he felt drawn to the book of Job, in the old testament of the bible. Was there another message in this book of the bible, one that would help free him from his present hell on earth? He decided that if God existed, He would surely help him overcome his dread and fear of fire.
For the first time in his life, Johnny prayed a sincere prayer before God. He didn't demand to have every request met, or to understand everything that had happened to him. Johnny simply promised God he would listen, if God gave him some answers to his questions. In his own way, Johnny was opening his heart and soul to God. In return, the Lord began to open up the scriptures to Johnny. All of a sudden, the printed word began to impart peace and understanding. The very same book which had scared him to death, was now a fountain of wisdom to Johnny.
He read about Job, who suffered terribly. He read about Job's so-called friends, who were really his enemies at heart. Job was miserable, he lost everyone he loved, and everything of value in his life. Even his wife told him to curse God, and die! This man underwent physical and mental torment that was beyond description, yet he remained faithful to God.
Johnny Lawson considered Job's experience, and he had to admit his own problems were minor in comparison. Johnny's biggest problem was his fear of fire, he was fixated and focused on a problem rather than a blessing. After all, Johnny had never actually been burned by fire. His torment was real, but he was being tormented by something most people could deal with in life. People died in many horrible ways, but most human beings did not waste their lives worrying about how they would die.
Johnny finally finished reading the book of Job, and he discovered that God had given Job back more than double what had been taken from him. Not only did God restore and multiply his abundance on earth, He also reminded Job that he had not really lost any of his family members in the first place. They would there to greet him, when Job breathed his last breath on earth. The story of Job was not a story of defeat, it really a story about a great victory.
Johnny decided it was time to apply some of this bible based logic into his life, and to quit carrying a "monkey" of fear on his back. If fear could draw bad things to you, faith must be able to keep bad things away! Johnny began to realize he had an all-powerful resource available to him, if he would only ask. His studies also taught him that fear was actually a sin, as it was based in unbelief and a lack of trust in God. Fear, was classified in the same category as murder, and many other terrible sins. Johnny, was ready for major changes in his wretched life.
Most of the doctors and other professionals Johnny knew, made light of the bible, and religion in general. Could they be right? Was simply asking God for forgiveness, the key to salvation? If it was truly so easy to be saved, how come the scriptures indicated that most people were on the wrong path and doomed for eternity? Johnny decided he would not give up, until he investigated the scriptures in greater detail.
Before long, God was furnishing more and more light on the subject. Johnny was sincere when he asked God to help him, and God was keeping His promises too. Johnny found out that forgiveness was a gift, but it was not cheap. Jesus had paid a terrible price, so He could redeem Johnny Lawson. When Johnny realized how much Jesus had actually suffered on his behalf, Johnny was brought to his knees in tears of sorrow.
Johnny finally realized that he deserved to die and be punished, for the many sins in his life. He even deserved the flames of hell, for rejecting the salvation the Jesus had purchased for him with His own blood on the cross. Without hesitation, Johnny asked Jesus Christ into his heart. With a swift spiritual sword, God killed the old Johnny Lawson and created a new Johnny Lawson in the image of Jesus his Lord. Angels sang on high, and heaven shouted for joy! A new birth had occurred, and Johnny was a new creature with royal blood flowing in his veins.
Johnny did not completely recover in one night, but he began to improve day by day. Jesus had accepted Johnny with all of his problems, and Jesus would set the time table for his complete recovery. After all, Johnny now had eternity to learn the ways of God.
At his first church service, Johnny met Pam Edwards. She too had a dread of fire, but she now worked in a burn center helping victims of fire. Before long, these two become one in marriage. Johnny had become a minister of the gospel, with a special outreach to those in mental hospitals. His old fear of fire was now just a memory, but Jesus was alive and well inside of his heart.
Like Job, Johnny had lost a lot. His childhood had been ruined, along with part of his life as an adult. But in the end, God had more than doubled his blessings. He now had a wonderful life with a loving wife, and children of his own. One night his house burned to the ground, but Johnny just praised God and thanked Him for saving them all from the flames of fire in BOTH worlds!
Those who witnessed his reaction to the house fire were truly amazed. Most thought he was crazy, but a few of the bystanders and the fireman were broadcast "live" praising God along with Johnny Lawson as his house burned.
Just as Johnny and his family were about to leave the fire scene, he noticed a little girl standing on the street corner. Her eyes were ablaze from the reflection of the flames, and Johnny could tell the fire had entered into her mind in the form of a spirit of fear. Before he could comfort her, she was lost in the crowd, or she had wandered off. He never forgot her face, and he knew he had a new name for his prayer list. He hoped she would not be tormented like he had been, but he also had the faith to know his prayers would be answered. The fire was here tonight, but so was Jesus Christ with His arms wide open...
Charles Gleason / December 1997 / (freely reprint/distribute)
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