WHAT THE BIBLE REALLY SAYS ABOUT DIVORCE

This is a subject which many people disagree about, but I believe the bible does say some things which ALL true believers should find easy to understand. People who have been divorced need to be ministered to, not made into objects of sin and shame. The bible does say God hates divorce, but He also loves those who have been divorced enough to forgive them. Let's look at a few comments ideas and concepts regarding marriage and divorce:

Some well meaning people say when a man and woman have sexual relations with each other they become "as one", and are in effect man and wife from that point on. This is not what God meant at all, as God wants people who have sex with each other to be married to each other BEFORE they engage in sexual activity.

This form of "oneness" goes beyond the sexual unity, as it also includes vows of love and committment too. The idea of two people becoming ONE is not to be understood as meaning they actually become one person, they become two people living abd acting in total accord with each other. If unmarried people have sex, the union DOES NOT create a marriage, it creates a union called FORNICATION.

Another common error is the idea that divorce is never allowed, no matter what the circumstances are. To believe this, is to DENY the clear word of God Himself. While God does hate divorce, He also realizes people can do things which dissolve the relationship they once established by mutual promise.

MATTHEW CHAPTER 5

32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Put away, means divorce in the bible. Jesus tells us that a man who has a wife who has sex with another man, MAY divorce her without sinning. (since he is the innocent party) Since the women would be the guilty party in this case, she would still commit the sin of adultery even if she attempts to use another marriage ceremony to justify or cover her sin.

An innocent spouse is NOT GUILTY of adultery if they remarry, ONLY the spouse who violated the fidelity of their marriage sins. not the party who KEPT their vows. It would be as if someone partly blamed Jesus, because one of His flock walked away from their Lord and Savior.

FIRST CORINTHIANS CHAPTER 7

10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

NOTE: While Paul states this, he tells us it is really THE LORD speaking here. (thru Paul, by inspiration of the Holy Ghost) Paul tell wives NOT to depart from their husband, but realizes people don't always do what the Lord would have them to do.

11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

If the woman leaves, she should not the divorce as an excuse to compond her sin by entering into another marriage. Notice that is told to REMAIN UNMARRIED. This means she is NO LONGER married as some would like to claim. If she had left the prior marriage for a sound reason, she COULD remarry with the Lord's blessing.

12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.

Believers should not use their faith in God, as an excuse to rid themselves of an unbelieving spouse. (unless the unbeliever wants to depsrt/divorce their mate)

13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

It works both ways, husbands and wives have the same rights and the same responsibilities regarding marriage.

14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

While there is no thing as a person being saved without accepting Christ as their personal Lord and Savior, saved people can ask God to take "special care" of their loved ones.

15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

If in the end a spouse wishes to depart the marriage, the divorce should be agreed to by the innocent party. God does not expect anyone to stay married to a person who is not going to honor their marriage vows to be faithful and there for their spouse. Marriage is a Holy and a legal contract, and a contract is held to be NULL and VOID if either party fails to live up to the terms as stated in the contract. To remain bound to such a person, would be a sin in the true meaning of the word. When a contract is broken, the parties involved have a right to enter into another contractional agreement. To deny a person the right to remarry because their spouse made a mockery of their marriage vows and departed the union, would be truly cruel and unjust.

If God has called an innocent spouse to peace, who ARE YOU to demand a higher standard than God from them? To remarry is less than the perfect will of God, but it a LOT BETTER than people living in sin. NONE of us do 100% right, so don't point your fingers at anyone except the person you see when your are standing in front of a mirror.

Of course, the death of either spouse also terminates the marrage relationship. The requirement for a bishop to have only one wife, must be taken in context. If a bishop's wife died, he would most certainly be free to remarry. When we rend and twist the word of God, we make it into a WEAPON instead of a BLESSING.

FIRST TIMOTHY CHAPTER 3

1 This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.

2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;

Good scholors disagree if the "one wife" position means a bishop should have only been married once, or if it meant they should not have multiple wives as was the custom of the time. Jesus did say God never intended a man to have many wives, but He also said God had tolerated the practice for many generations.

Since a bishop is an official position in the church, the person holding such a position should be someone who has their act together. This does not mean every person in the ministry is under this type of requirement, as they do not all hold leadership roles in the church. Since the "one wife" concept is something concerning bishops in the verse cited, it should not be expanded to apply to other people in general. God would like ALL people to be as blameless as a bishop, but He understands most Christians are not as strong as they should be. If you have serious faults, or a flawed past, simply allow those who are strong in the faith to be the officer of the church.

To sum up:

1. People who are divorced, are not married any longer. (no matter if they had a VALID reason to divorce or not.

2. If your spouse had sex with another person, or deserted you, you are free to divorce and remarry. (but do not seek a high position of authority in the church)

3. If your spouse has died, you are free to remarry at will.

+++ READ THIS TO SEAL THE MATTER FOR EVER IN YOUR MIND AND SPIRIT +++

JOHN CHAPTER 4

18 For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.

If you believe God only recognizes the original marriage as valid, you are denying what Jesus says in the bible. He told the woman at the well she had FIVE HUSBANDS, as she had been married FIVE TIMES already! This PROVES Jesus considered each of her 5 prior marriages as VALID marriages.

He told her she was not married to the man she was presently with, simply because she was "shacking up" with him. If she could not have been divorced in God's view, she could have NOT been remarried as Jesus said she was. If Jesus agrees she was actually married five times, it proves the concept of marriage and remarriage is valid. (but not always justified)

Jesus did not tell her to go back to any of her past husbands, as He realized her prior marriages no longer existed. Remember, a divorce does dissolve a marriage even when the divorce is based on the wrong reasons. A ex-spouse who divorces for the wrong reason and remarries committes a sin, but the marriage is binding in the site of God. Even a marriage like this, is still a marriage in the sight of God. To dissolve a second or third marriage, is also is a sin if done for the wrong reasons. In old testament times, a man was FORBIDDEN to remarry an ex-spouse. (but he could marry another woman) THINK, before you burden people with concepts that sound good, but are flawed and unbiblical.

Salvation is the CURE for such sin, not some heavy handed statments based on a misunderstanding of the word of God. If you beat up on people because of their past sins, you are committing a sin in the present. Marriage is contract, and if it is violated the innocent party may marry again without sinning. The guilty part may also remarry, since they are no longer married to their prior spouse. The sin against their former spouse can be forgiven just like any other sin, if they ask God to forgive them. Divorce is a terrible thing, but it IS NOT a sin in a class by itself. Paul preached the gospel, and he suggested we do the same.

It is the Holy Spirit who convicts us of sin, not some "bible thumping" believer filled with intolerance and pride. Sometimes divorce is a sin, but the blood of Jesus will cover it completely. If you have divorced for a valid or reason or not, you need to forget the past on move on with God. If your are saved, God does not even REMEMBER the mistakes you made. Why should you, or someone who believes they know more than God does? If you are now married, stay married. (no matter how many times you have been married) God is your peace, so hold on to it and don't let ANYONE rob you of the joy of your salvation.

EMAIL Charles Gleason

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